*ADULT READERS ONLY!

17.

 Men, Money, and their Emotions

Money is emotional for anybody…all of us: Men and Women.

Money moves or stops things, it can make or break a: family, a relationship, a friendship, a livelihood, a business, a person, a school, a church…and the list could go on.

But added to that list, we can interject: Men. 

Money is what moves this world on, upward, and foreword, and men are socialized to spearhead that movement, while women are socialized to oversee and take care of the movement once secured. 

When a man does not have it-he moves differently, he socializes differently, and he relationships differently. Without the ability to provide (first) for himself and then, or before be[ing] able to provide a woman (even if he is single/not in a committed relationship), a man is not at his personal best (and he knows this). 

For men, money is attached to their ego and manhood.

Their emotions are typically ruled by their ego. 

A man is in a class by himself in where money is concerned, but for women, it’s simple:

Love + security=emotions (women).

For men, it’s a little more complex:

Emotion/Ego + Money = security (manhood).

Security for a man is first: Access to money. It is essential to a man’s ego and is key in the way he relationships and socializes in this world. It is the equivalent of, and is as paramount as love and security is to a woman’s emotions and the way she relationships and socializes. A man cannot, and knows that he is not secure at, in, and with “love” unless he is able to provide as equally as he is able to protect.

With the absence of money/being able to efficiently and adequately provide for himself a man has to survive mentally promiscuous and often times physically promiscuous…that is what makes it seem like men are “dogs.” It’s not that they are dogs; they are surviving. That is not to suggest that all men who are able to efficiently and adequately provide for themselves aren’t mentally and physically promiscuous, too…but in those situations-it is because he chooses to be-because he has not found [or may not be looking] for his Queen. One is a choice and the other is a necessity.

LOVE, MONEY, SECURITY

The securing of “love” (even if not true, committed, loyal, and faithful) is much easier to come by than money is. For that reason, women are better able to deal with how they are socialized than men are able to deal with how they are socialized.

On the other hand, money/the ability to provide is something that men are socialized to secure-something that is not as easy securable as “love” is (whether disillusioned or real).  

For anybody, securing money cannot be “faked” (as can a man is able to “fake a relationship” or fake “love” in order to survive). With that being the case, a woman can thrive knowing (or thinking) she has love, but without money-a man cannot fully thrive-only survive…  

Women are better able to cope and usually settle (having waited to exhale) while men are better able to cope by surviving (while seeking to exhale), meaning: once a woman feels that she has secured love-that is a form of security to her (even in the absence of money). The typical woman will fill in that area and need in the relationship even if the man cannot. With that, she is able to exhale, because as far as she is concerned, her “search” is over, and she is able to [exhale]. 

REGARDLESS IF YOU ARE PROVIDING HIS EVERY SINGLE FINANCIAL NEED A MAN CANNOT “EXHALE” NOT BEING UNABLE TO PROVIDE FOR HIMSELF. BEING SELF-SUFFICIENT AND THE ABILITY TO PROVIDE IS HIS BREATH OF LIFE (BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE).  

No matter what a man tells you, no matter how he makes you feel, no matter how attentive, loving, committed, and dedicated he is, or may seem; a man’s emotions (ego) are attached to his ability to provide…equal to and as much as his ability to protect…equal to and the same way a woman’s emotions are connected to love + security. The feelings that a woman feels [when she is in search of, but does not have love + security], a man’s feels tenfold-not having money/ability to provide, because money is necessary to move (and stop) things.

For a woman, with (or without) love, at some point-your heart will most certainly go on (more than says Celine Dion). 

Having read what you read thus far, and as extreme as it all may seem, I know that it is easy to want to think of another way out of a truth so severe and serious as something involving “money.” You can read all of this and interject all the spiritual or religious, philosophical theory that you wish to (to justify, undo, or denounce the “severity” and importance of what money means for a man), but it simply does not change the fact that men are born and bred into a society that tells them they are not much of a man if they cannot protect and especially provide for himself, and/or his children and/or a woman. 

We women, are too, a part of the fight that men fight in these societal pressures, and despite the many women who are willing to take care of men, that does not alleviate the emotions that men feels inside by not being able to [for himself-at bare minimum] provide. That factor is an embedded emotion in all men-no matter how comfortable he may seem being “a bum.” Securing money and being able to provide is the stability that a man is after first, even before love and the security of a relationship, a woman, and a family. It’s all in his DNA and connected to his ego like the need for love and security is connected to a woman’s emotions all in our heads. 

No matter what you feel (or think), if a man is not able to provide for you-he is not fully there with you. Never think that you have a “whole man” if you are taking care of him, and he cannot provide for, or share and build with you (50-50), and as well, if he simply will not do it (because he is stingy and selfish with you). 

For anybody, the making of and the security of money has all the ingredients of blood, sweat, and tears. Seeing as though securing it means, and is at a different level for men than it is for women; always know that a man’s extension of his male ego lies in money and the value of it…HIS money (not yours and what you give to him). A man’s emotions are intertwined in the lack of his having (his own) money, having the max (of his own money), the sharing (of his own money), or in withholding/being stingy/selfish (with his own money).

MONEY RULES THE WAY A MAN MOVES THE SAME WAY “LOVE” RULES THE WAY A WOMAN MOVES

As previously mentioned, for most women, a love life is a kind of “security.”  

For a single woman, until she has taken the necessary steps of disallowing letting her love life control her life, and making her self-respect, self-esteem, and confidence a lifestyle, for her; her love life (committed, casual/dating or otherwise) will control her every mood and rule the way she moves in the world. If there is a roller coaster ride of exhaustive inconsistencies, it will definitely trickle down to every other professional and personal relationship, and friendship that she has. The tone of her love life will set the tone, and control the quality of all else around her. If her love life is going well, so will everything else around her, if not, everything else around her won’t either.  

Opposite that, the same is true for a man and his security: money/the ability to provide (first) for himself and/or someone else. It is an unfair disparage of men however, that whether he is evolved or not, or whether or not he has “taken the necessary steps to disallow letting his lack of money control his life,”(or not)…thanks to the way men are socialized since the beginning of time, it is, always has been, and always will be expected that he is able to protect and provide (even if for no one but himself). 

With that expectation being something placed upon him as if it were a part of his DNA-the way it plays upon his emotions/ego, his self-esteem and manhood; his “security” for money/the ability to provide, rules the way he moves, (like “love” does for most women).

Just like you can observe the virtues or vices of a woman who is ruled by her love life, the same is true for a man. Any vice, virtue, and adjective you want to know about a man-you can conclude by watching his attitude and relationship with money (how to get it, and/or maintain it). 

Just like you would observe his relationship with his mother, you also have to observe his “relationship” with money…just the same.

• How Does He Handle and Value His Money? (Does he save/have a plan/save for a rainy day or is he just concerned with the here and now?)
• What Does He Do With His Money? (Does he buy frivolous things that are of no value, increase in value or pays him back in interest?)
• How Does He Make His Money? (Does he do what he does to make his money on a consistent basis or “as needed” basis, and goes on a hiatus or sabbatical from time to time?)
• What Will He Do To Make His Money? (Is he prideful when it comes to how he will make his money/what he will do to make it? Even more so, is his pride regarding that matter bigger than his passion and willingness to make money?)
• Can He Make $1.00 out of $.15? (Regardless of what he does to make it or how, is he a “multi-tasker?” Is he content with just making money rather than making money by way of several sources and resources? Does he or will he take or sacrifice a portion of what he as on a near-guarantee that he can increase that?)  
• Is He Lazy And Will Not Go Out And Make Money? (Is he content with being a “stay at home” companion while you bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan? Is he content with the most work his fingers lay hands on being the keyboard of your computer, the video game console and niceties, the fork, spoon and knife of which he has to life to eat the food that you paid for, brought home and cooked, while he merely did the honors of bringing the grocery bags inside?)
• Is He Generous With His Money? (Is he demonstrative with the fact that what’s his is yours too?) 
• Is He Stingy and Selfish with His Money? (To your knowledge…is he in a “relationship” with you…but what’s his is his, and what’s yours is yours-and occasionally, or mostly his too?) 

Don’t just read it-answer (for yourself) those questions…honestly.

IF YOU EVER WANT TO KNOW THE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE TRUTH ABOUT A PERSON’S “PERSON,” GIVE ‘EM SOME MONEY…WIND ‘EM UP…AND WATCH ‘EM GO…

This is true for anybody (really), but it is especially true for a man (we’ve already gone over the necessity of money and the ability to provide being as essential to a man as the security of love is for a woman), but there’s more:

The ability to provide for himself (first) and (eventually) someone else is a kind of “rite-of-passage” that all men know they must (literally) earn.

Until he is able to secure that ability, no self-respecting man will ever feel “complete” (no matter how much a woman will love and take care of him). That is because he knows that by having his own money, and/or the ability to provide, increases his VALUE and WORTH in this WORLD, in his FRIENDSHIPS, and RELATIONSHIPS (fraternal, companion, family). 

Considering that fact, if a man is not willing to get it or go earn it and would rather reap it from you…that is a very good indicator about what he feels about himself, which too, says a lot about what he feels about you (too).Because when a man is serious-business about a woman, he will take the necessary steps to make himself feel like a King, and in turn, finish the steps to making a woman his Queen. When a man really wants to make her more than a Joker or one of the other numbers, he will nearly push himself upon her life and come [not just bearing gifts] but: “building gifts”-making it obvious that he is intent on paying the way (or at least 50%) while being very demonstrative and proud of the fact that he is working, working on, working towards, or doing whatever he has to do-to build something with you.

IN THE LAND OF ESTABLISHING A REAL RELATIONSHIP, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN FROM A STINGY MAN & KEEP A THIRD EYE ON A GENEROUS MAN

If a man is selfish and stingy (and to your knowledge) the two of you are in a relationship but what’s his is his, and what’s yours is yours, but occasionally (or mostly) is his too, get rid of him. That is a clear sign that he does not want to “build” with you, he has one foot out the door already and is just looking for the perfect opportunity to fold, or is leaving himself open to run from you and your…“relationship” (that you think you have with him). 

Remember what I said in the Introduction: “Women Can Fake Orgasms But Men Can Fake An Entire Relationship?” 

Faking a relationship is not just exclusive to the actions of a broke man. A broke man can fake a relationship, just a well as a man who is not broke and stingy, and just as well as a generous man who comes bearing gifts. 

You need more than just sex, and even expensive handbags, shoes, and exotic trips on white sandy beaches to gauge a man’s true interest in wanting to be with you (outside of being one of his many Jokers and other numbers). It’s not just his willingness to “spend” on you, that’s his “ego”-especially if he has an abundance of it-that could very well be “his thing.” Men see their money and what they do with it as a reflection of himself, sometimes even more than the gift or deed. But if a man “imposes” himself upon you [in a demonstrative way] to let you know that he wants to build with you (again, “build” meaning: everything he does is a contribution and addition to what the two of you will enjoy, benefit from, and both have equal interest in sustaining and is therefore-not easy to undo), then he is truly interested in you. 

In short: (100% or 50-50) he takes his money, and does things with his money to sort of “trap” you with substantial things-to ensure you cannot and will not leave him. 

That’s not necessarily the sign of a man being a sucker, that’s a man who really wants to Queen you (even if-for whatever reason-you don’t want the same). 

When a man is at that point with you-that is where his money is attached to his emotion for you (versus his ego, and giving gifts to you). 

When a man wants to Queen you-he is deathly afraid to lose you, so he will do anything within his emotional, mental, physical, sexual, and financial power (that solidifies, secures, substantiates, and sticks)-to win you. 

When a man wants you as his Queen, it’s like the equivalent of a naïve girl or an un-evolved woman with a man: Because of her emotions and the fact that she thinks she is in love with him; she wants to give him sex in hopes that-that is what will make him stay with her. 

When a man is ready to Queen a woman, he gets vulnerable that same way that the naïve girl/un-evolved woman does, except she offers sex and  he comes building [not so much as bearing] gifts. He takes his ego/value/worth (money) and shares it with her in ways to build something that she cannot easily walk out the door or simply undo. That is when his truth, heart and emotions are in it with her. 

So if yacht getaways, sandy white beaches, Hermes/Birkin bags, shopping sprees and all that pacifies you and you are truly faking a real relationship with him-then, be okay with that, because he too, could be very well “faking the relationship” with you (just the same). Countless girls all over the world are most probably looking pretty and traveling white sand-gritty as you, too.  

The money (regardless how modest or how grand) is for “him”-this HIS OWN EGO and SECURITY that he is of value and worth (per society standards, his friends, and women). It’s what he does with [his modest or grand money] to BUILD SOMETHING(s) with you that separates you from the rest of the Jokers and other hot lil’ numbers…

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