*ADULT READERS ONLY!

1.

 A Woman’s Worth: Exactly What Your “Worth” Is

If you want to feel esteemed, then: gleam, beam, and cling to all the things about you that money can’t buy or bring…

There are two different kinds of “rich” that make living life a bit more comfortable (than for the person who is not “rich”):

• The most obvious is financially rich (because having an abundance of money enables you to have freedoms that afford you the peace of mind that a person who is not financially rich does not have the luxury of enjoying).
• The other “rich” that I am speaking of the joy that you feel because you are able to simply say: “with or without __________…I am still worthy and whole,” (fill in the blank with: having a relationship, money, career, job, education, etc.)
  That kind of joy is accompanied by a generally healthy self-esteem.

Because we are the more outwardly emotional of the species, self-esteem is crucial for a woman to have. Although it can take years to build, as a healthy-minded functional adult woman, here are two jolts and quick questions that leave no room for excuses about understanding exactly what “self-esteem” is, and how to tell if you have a healthy self-esteem or no:

a) The way that I am treated/allowing myself to be treated, am I being admired? Held high in regard? Appreciated? Valued? Does the way I feel about this friendship/relationship make me feel those ways?

or:

b) Am I treated with Scorn? Disdain? Contempt? Do I feel Belittled? Undervalued? Or Disrespected? Does the way I feel about this friendship/relationship make me feel those ways?

If you answered:
a) you have an understanding of what a very healthy self-esteem is.

If you answered:
b) you have an understanding of what low, to little, to no self-esteem is.

As important as self-esteem is to have, unfortunately there are no overnight remedies for it. It is a lifestyle (like any lifestyle change) that has to begin with a decision. And it, like any other lifestyle, requires daily maintenance.

That “maintenance” should begin with your own personal daily affirmations about what you want for yourself. Affirmations aide in helping us stand firm in what we will accept for ourselves and in our lives as well (which too, helps us build and maintain a healthy self-esteem).

As a woman, anything that you desire to have an amount, piece, or part of, there should always be a little voice in your head reminding yourself that when or if it is your time-you will have it.
No thing, no body, no circumstance, or no situation (past or present) should have the power to steal that affirmation from you.

Think of affirmations as your own personal self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you keep reminding yourself that you are worthy of having [whatever it may be], your mind will have no choice but to invite your body, and your own person to it-which too, shall will and command [whatever it may be] into your life (be that a person, a place, or a thing).

Rather than the grandiose and unrealistic, obviously, we want to keep healthy, reasonable, tangible, desires and wishes in our minds (despite how ambitious). The important thing to consider for your self is that the best or good things aren’t “reserved” for just a specific set of people, or kind of persons. They are however, reserved for the woman who (like I previously stated) gives herself permission to will into her life; what she wishes (rather than she who has no affirmations at all).

When you have no affirmations-you kind of “wing it.”
That means, by default, you (unknowingly) let the world affirm and send to you: the leftovers-whatever it has left, or wants to give you.
That doesn’t have to be necessarily “bad,” but when you’re hungry, and you have set your mind on, and have a taste for a particular thing, then you sit to dine at a restaurant; when the waitress tells you the special of the day, you’ve already made up your mind about what you wanted to eat. Despite how good she explained the ingredients, you came ready for sustenance of a particular kind, so you did not settle for the delicious delicacy of the day.

For sustainability, we have to be firm and “order” from life’s menu at the table of our lives with the same grace.

We women tend to settle in various ways when we have no affirmations.
Standards [in what we are willing to accept in relationship with our women friends, as well as men] are as equally important as the affirmations that we insist for ourselves.

Make standards + affirmations a package deal for you and your life, unapologetically.

The way that we socialize today, can take a lot out of a woman. 

The way world is, our personal drive, and the ways we-ourselves-are driven, have helped society be comfortable with pushing chivalry as well as our “womanly” desires and needs to the back burner. It has also [strengthened and empowered?] us with a “take-control/I have this under control/let me show you how” way.
We are constantly indulging, motivating, inspiring, and instilling affirmations for others (which is all fine, good and necessary), but we’re almost afraid to “self-indulge” in the same for ourselves.

Just because the ways we communicate and socialize in the world today are so narcissistic and “simply” on display does not mean you are narcissistic and should be made to feel guilty or selfish, simply because you chose to save some of what you inspire, give, motivate, and share-for yourself as well. 

Think about it.

We are so into how we look in the eyes of other people that we do more “winging it” than we do “applying” (for ourselves) what we put on display and help others to affirm (for themselves).
In the ways that we socialize and communicate today, we are more generous extrinsically than we are intrinsically.

Consider yourself  “worthy,” too. Insisting on the same affirmations that you insist for others will do a lot for your own personal self-esteem and self-worth. 

A woman’s self-esteem is that key that opens the door to everything that keeps her head held high no matter what challenges she faces in love and in life.

At the start of this book, the Introduction: “Women Can Fake Orgasms But Men Can Fake An Entire Relationship For Years”) I went straight in; no holds barred. Because page by page, I will show you examples, causes, effects, and suggested solutions to them all.

But…even before all that-nothing [and I repeat] nothing in this world: no solution, no remedy, no trick, or rule can be cemented until the groundwork is broken in.
You are your own groundwork.

With you is where we are breaking ground…here, in this chapter's tip.

Sturdy buildings begin groundbreaking with the dirt and soil (like I did in the previous chapter tip: “Women Can Fake Orgasms But Men Can Fake An Entire Relationship”)…
After groundbreaking, a sturdy foundation is then, laid.

As a woman, your self-worth is the foundation and first of the necessities that will assist you in commanding the life and love that you are (consistently and insistently) teaching yourself that you are worthy of…

That is your insulation.

When that is built in as a part of you, gone, is that never-ending escalation of those all too important areas in our lives that make us, and shape us-areas that we’ve conditioned ourselves to accept as believing are natural revolving doors of love and life in our relationships.

Page by page from ground up, with men, we are going to work through how to deal-but by first, understanding how to build even before heading to the table to deal…

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