LUST

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n. 1) a desire to satisfy the senses, bodily appetite 2) a sexual desire, excessive sexual desire, especially as seeking unrestrained gratification 3) overmastering desire: as lust for power

“If she could bottle up ‘lust’ (the act and spirit of it) and sell it strictly by her special brand of delivering it, she would be the richest woman in the entire world. Lust was atop the pyramid of the type of hedonism she enjoyed so much so that it was the equivalent of what love is for her. I know people are quick to talk about mistaking love for lust, but with her; love really was lust and lust really was love (one in the same, like a moth to a flame). I never knew anybody like that-who, in every demonstrative way, could somehow rearrange your entire thinking, feeling, and knowing that lust and love are two totally different things— but could make you(like her) do away with the fact that love and lust are two different things. Lust was all the “love” she knew. And with her-you had to love lust too. And well, I do. So we stuck together like glue.”

-Angie

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I took a deep breath and drove up to my schools computer lab. I logged into her chat room and just sat there. It was entirely different now. Whaddayaknow: The rules had changed.

You could not lurk anymore like before. Now, you had to sign in before you could even see the script to talk to anyone. I immediately went to the chatters page section to see if my picture and

bio was still down, and they did me one better; instead, the entire chatter’s bio page was gone.

The note said that the chatters page was “under construction.” I just bet it was…

“Qbenlyric2” came down and said hello to me. I said hello to him/her. S(he) started in by telling me that s(he) was in love with me and thought I was so very beautiful. I looked over at the blank chatters page that was “under construction” again, to see if my memory served me correct (again). I wondered how (again) “Qbenlyric2” could have known that I was “so very beautiful” but I didn’t ask-because at this point I knew that “Qbenlyric2” was Janet’s seductive self. And she too, knew that I knew. She knew I knew the game...

“I have a secret to tell you,” she said.

“Yes, I’m listening, tell me-please,” I replied.

She paused: “I’m a closet romantic…” she confessed.

Speechless, my heart started pounding and my fingers got stiff. She was mad sexy.

“I WANT YOU,” she yelled (in caps).

My eyes got big: “Yeah, but...I’m at the computer lab at my school because I’m a little computer blue at home you know…” (she knew what I was talking about).

“Oh yeah Cinamon?” she replied-sarcastically. (I imagined her sitting there laughing at me; brows up, rolling her neck, lips tight, eyes squinting, and whispering: “you’re dayuuummm right it is. I run your shit...”). Instead, she wanted to reiterate it again:

“I WANT YOU! I LOVE YOU! I PUT THAT ON MY FIRST BORN...” she said, truthfully-knowing that I, of all people, knew the truth about the rumors for years, of her even having a first born (or no)...

“Yeah? I want you too, but it’s kind of difficult talking to you like I’d from up at a computer lab you know?” I replied.

“Yeah I KNOW,” she laughed-knowing what she had done to my computer at home.

“So what’s up? I would move to your city if you wanted me to! *packing…lol” she said.

I returned the laugh.

“Cinamon. I WANT you...Do you want me?” she demanded to know.

“Yes, yes I do,” I assured her.

“So what’s it gonna be woman? Can I come to see you? I can be there in about 3hrs,” she said.

Chris and Dread were making comments about what Qbenlyric2 and me thought was a subliminal sexual conversation in the middle of the chat room. The two of us were

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